Tuesday, March 9, 2010
10:13 PM
love of mine, i'm sorry that i have decided to move on
please don't hate me.
may your wounds be healed some day.
i've left you for tumblr.
please stay strong so that if anyone comes by, you'll be the one who shows them that i'm over at tumblr and that they can ask me for my tumblr account.
love always
your writer
Friday, January 29, 2010
9:03 PM
today, the old scars were opened again.
a little bird told me something shocking about someone.
that bird told me about it before but i refused to believe it,
i was secretly hoping that the little bird will come around and tell me it was a lie, a prank
but i realized that i was in denial.
it is hard to believe that
the person who i cared so much for
not in a romantic way, but in a very close knit way,
the person who i would had done everything for,
the person who u shared soooo many memories with
the person who to this day, i still think about
the person who to this day, i think is the closest ____ to me.
the person who i cried so many tears on
could be like that.
i regret what happened between us,
i really do not know what happened between us
we led separate lives, we drifted apart.
i have no idea why things got so awkward between us.
although i have those memories, i'm starting to think they were dreams
they were not real.
but what i feel sad about is that, that somebody could do something
to put what that little bird went through, to hurt that little bird.
and i regret even more that i did not believe that little bird
who meant no harm and could never do me any harm
who only wanted to tell me the truth.
you are no longer the person i thought you were, to think that i vouched for you repeatedly.
now i'm starting to wonder if the things that you said are true.
the things that i chose to believe in.
these would be my last few tears that i'm crying for you.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
11:53 PM
Time is indeed running out. i have so many assignments on hands and their deadline are all so near to each other. MAJOR SIGH. i'm only done with 1 assignment out of 5. geeezzzz
sometimes i really wonder if i made the write choice to decide to study because it is so difficult and i see all my other friends working and having an income thus the ability to spend. i miss my carefree lifestyle.
but on a good note, i have good classmates who are going through things with me and it kinda makes school fun. but all in all, i still enjoy uni, i just need to get through all these obstacles.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
1:09 PM
no. bev
you can't feel this way.
you are not allowed to do so.
you are not someone who is suppose to have this kind of emotion in the first place.
you can't feel as though you are in a vacuum, in between spaces, hanging.
you have to be strong
you need to look strong
you won't be yourself if you emote such emotion
you can only feel this way in your room, even so, you are only allowed to feel that way for 5 minutes and after that you have to smile, no matter how fake it is.
no matter how hurt you are beneath.
you cannot be weak!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
8:45 PM
maybe what he said is true.
i'm un-deserving.
there is a huge hole in my heart.
emptiness
12:07 AM
Dear blog of mine.
i was just wondering, am i wrong to be feeling the way i am now?
i know the advices that i am going to hear from my friends
but i really can't help but feel this way.
am i really that terrible a person.
should i only have positive thoughts and be strong in everything i do?
is it really wrong for me to constantly think why things are the way it is?
this armor or exterior shield that i have been carrying for so long is really starting to wear me down.
would i be wronged or be called weak if i want to give up?
is it wrong that my heart aches at times?
who do i have to please?
is there something wrong with me.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
11:23 PM
somehow, i can't explain the way i feel right now.
there is no specific word that fits it.
not anger, sadness, emotional, regretful, afraid or uncertain.
it's just that i feel down but i can't figure why, sure there are driving forces but yet. i can't explain it. i just want to have a quiet time alone. stay home. don't go out. hide away.
the self pitying shall end.