Friday, January 29, 2010
9:03 PM
today, the old scars were opened again.
a little bird told me something shocking about someone.
that bird told me about it before but i refused to believe it,
i was secretly hoping that the little bird will come around and tell me it was a lie, a prank
but i realized that i was in denial.
it is hard to believe that
the person who i cared so much for
not in a romantic way, but in a very close knit way,
the person who i would had done everything for,
the person who u shared soooo many memories with
the person who to this day, i still think about
the person who to this day, i think is the closest ____ to me.
the person who i cried so many tears on
could be like that.
i regret what happened between us,
i really do not know what happened between us
we led separate lives, we drifted apart.
i have no idea why things got so awkward between us.
although i have those memories, i'm starting to think they were dreams
they were not real.
but what i feel sad about is that, that somebody could do something
to put what that little bird went through, to hurt that little bird.
and i regret even more that i did not believe that little bird
who meant no harm and could never do me any harm
who only wanted to tell me the truth.
you are no longer the person i thought you were, to think that i vouched for you repeatedly.
now i'm starting to wonder if the things that you said are true.
the things that i chose to believe in.
these would be my last few tears that i'm crying for you.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
11:53 PM
Time is indeed running out. i have so many assignments on hands and their deadline are all so near to each other. MAJOR SIGH. i'm only done with 1 assignment out of 5. geeezzzz
sometimes i really wonder if i made the write choice to decide to study because it is so difficult and i see all my other friends working and having an income thus the ability to spend. i miss my carefree lifestyle.
but on a good note, i have good classmates who are going through things with me and it kinda makes school fun. but all in all, i still enjoy uni, i just need to get through all these obstacles.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
1:09 PM
no. bev
you can't feel this way.
you are not allowed to do so.
you are not someone who is suppose to have this kind of emotion in the first place.
you can't feel as though you are in a vacuum, in between spaces, hanging.
you have to be strong
you need to look strong
you won't be yourself if you emote such emotion
you can only feel this way in your room, even so, you are only allowed to feel that way for 5 minutes and after that you have to smile, no matter how fake it is.
no matter how hurt you are beneath.
you cannot be weak!